Matric Life

Wow,2day can come back and able to upload the latest blog.
First entered KMJ(Kolej Matrikulasi Johor),i felt really lonely because i cant find any friend there.Sin Hwee would only daftar the next day...really lonely.Felt vey bored and came out to walk around the hostel.Haha i met two new friends fron Seremban and Simpang Renggam,who are Xian Hui and Bao Cai(cabbage).Both of them are very nice,esp.Xian Hui.She is very talkactive and we had a lot of things to talk about.At night,we got a chance to meet our facilitator,who are our seniors also.They are very friendly,esp. Yin who are now studying in UM.She can joke very well and i really enjoyed the time we spent together with her.Then,our orientation week began.In these five days,the schedule was packed with lot of activities until i can hardly find any time to sleep and rest.We could only sleep at about 12am and hd to wake up so early at 5pm.Really tired and miss my bed at home.But once we started the activities,i totally forgot about my sleepiness.We had our senaman pagi with chinese facilitator and we chatted a lot there.Next,we spent a lot of time to attend the ceramah.Quite boring but have to go through it also.I enjoyed the time we had with our mentor.The mentor is an excellent lecturer and she shared a lot of experience and funny stories with us.We had some refreshments and games along the orientation week also.Well,this orientation week was not as bad as i thought.I got an opportunity to know many friends from other places.But what make me feel small is they are very intelligent.Many of them got more more than 10A1 in the past SPM examination.Some guys even started to read books in the library before our lesson starts next week.Wow,so hardworking.This coming Tuesday we will start our kulaih.Feel very nervous and tensed.Hope can go through this coming week smoothly.

伤心及失落

人生充满许多遗憾，令人失望极伤心，更在我心里留下难以磨灭的痕迹。
这个星期也不知道倒什么霉，，没有一件事是做得顺利的。拜一考车我fail了。昨天上网又得知自己无法获得国有奖学金，我的心顿时往下一沉，只差没有当场掉下眼泪。我第一时间把这个坏消息传达到妈妈耳中，妈妈听了顿时语塞。从妈妈的眼神里，我可清楚地看到她那股失落。。我知道他一定是失望极了。这几个月里，妈妈为我的三个面试奔坡忙碌，为我买车票啦，为我安排交通啦，为我准备衣服啦，可是到头来可说是白忙了，也白花钱了。其实妈妈应该是很矛盾吧！一方面希望我成功申请到奖学金，，接受好的教育，，拥有好的前途；另一方面又担心我拿到奖学金后得到外坡求学，说我还不懂得独立，就连整理一间房间都成问题，又怎么放心我到外去闯呢？那么我无法获得奖学金对他来说是一件坏消息仰或是一件好消息呢？不过，我很确定那是一个坏消息！很感谢妈妈昨天扮演了一个很重要的聆听者角色，听了我满腹牢骚，他一定很痛苦吧，因为我说讲的每一句都充满怨言。他陪我度过了一个难过的夜晚。好不容易我才心不甘情不愿的躺在床上，想着想着又情不自尽地大哭一场（容易受伤的女人）。我真的好辛苦哦，好累，好像能够逃脱世俗的眼光，过着无忧无虑的生活。
辛苦了这么多年，为的还不是希望能考到好成绩，成功申请到一份奖学金，攻读自己想要的科系，找到一份好的工作。可是一切都不在我掌握之中，真的难以预料。一切的前因后果来得太突然了，我还做好心理准备，就把我炸得偏体麟伤。讨厌自己的悲观，讨厌自己没全力以赴做好一件事，更讨厌自己没法为自己铺一条美好的后路，我真的太失败了。
我辜负了自己，父母，师长...
不过很庆欣自己有一班愿意听我发牢骚的朋友，要不然的话我深怕自己会崩溃。感谢你们jing ying和caryn,谢谢你们的sms，让你们破费了，不好意思。
期望接下来会是一帆风顺。
ALL THE BEST

bad luck

Hiaz this week what wrongs with me la.
just now wrote a blog in mandarin but couldnt post here cz of line problem.
so sorry,jing ying and caryn,u all cant see the blog aldy.

Leaving home...

Yesterday,we had our last gathering at Delikateza Cafe.Felt quite sad and disappointed because only six of us went for the gathering.I think after this gathering,it will take quite a long time for us to gather anymore.Really hard.Well left one more week,i will leave my cosy and lovely home.I dont know whether i can adapt myself there or not.Ya,i know Tangkak is very near to muar town,but this is the 1st time i leave home for such a long time(must come back every weekend,otherwise will cry in the hostel everyday).Suddenly,i realise how good are my family members to me.I hope i still have several weeks to live with my family.I miss them so much...dread of homesick...but what can i do?